Tuesday, September 27, 2005

The Stealth Candidate

According to Drudge, executives at CBS and ABC are quietly searching for anchors to helm their evening newscasts, replacing the disgraced Dan Rather and the late Peter Jennings.

At ABC, the search may be a little less urgent. Recent Nielsen ratings show that ABC's World News Tonight is #1 among viewers ages 25-54, the prize demographic for evening newscasts. WNN has held the top spot for the past six months, despite a rotation of substitute anchors that has included Charles Gibson, Elizabeth Vargas and Bob Woodruff.

Meanwhile, CBS remains dead last in the evening news wars, and they're desperately looking for someone who can attract an audience. In an effort to help the House that Murrow Built, I suggest the following candidate, who's currently anchoring a recently-debuted internet newscast. CBS can probably sign him for AFTRA scale, and his political views would mesh well with other news division employees. His wardrobe, grooming and personal hygeine probably need some work, but he can lock up the all-important global jihadist demographic.

No comments: