Pass the Tinfoil

As conspiracy theories go, it's tough to beat this one about the recent oil rig disaster in the Gulf of Mexico:

A grim report circulating in the Kremlin today written by Russia’s Northern Fleet is reporting that the United States has ordered a complete media blackout over North Korea’s torpedoing of the giant Deepwater Horizon oil platform owned by the World’s largest offshore drilling contractor Transoceanthat was built and financed by South Korea’s Hyundai Heavy Industries Co. Ltd., that has caused great loss of life, untold billions in economic damage to the South Korean economy, and an environmental catastrophe to the United States.

Most important to understand about this latest attack by North Korea against its South Korean enemy is that under the existing “laws of war” it was a permissible action as they remain in a state of war against each other due to South Korea’s refusal to sign the 1953 Armistice ending the Korean War.

To the attack itself, these reports continue, the North Korean“cargo vessel” Dai Hong Dan believed to be staffed by 17th Sniper Corps “suicide” troops left Cuba’s Empresa Terminales Mambisas de La Habana (Port of Havana) on April 18thwhereupon it “severely deviated” from its intended course for Venezuela’s Puerto Cabello bringing it to within 209 kilometers (130 miles) of the Deepwater Horizon oil platform which was located 80 kilometers (50 miles) off the coast of the US State of Louisiana where it launched an SSC Sang-o Class Mini Submarine (Yugo class) estimated to have an operational range of 321 kilometers (200 miles).

On the night of April 20th the North Korean Mini Submarine manned by these “suicidal” 17th Sniper Corps soldiers attacked the Deepwater Horizon with what are believed to be 2 incendiary torpedoes causing amassive explosion and resulting in 11 workers on this giant oil rig being killed outright. Barely 48 hours later, on April 22nd , this North Korean Mini Submarine committed its final atrocity by exploding itself directly beneath the Deepwater Horizon causing this $1 Billion oil rig to sink beneath the seas and marking 2010’s celebration of Earth Day with one of the largest environmental catastrophes our World has ever seen.

The "report" (and we use that term advisedly) goes on to say that Pyongyang staged the attack to create an "impossible dilemma" for President Obama on the eve of the U.N. nuclear weapons conference, which began today. Mr. Obama must supposedly choose between allowing the oil leak to continue for months, or use a thermonuclear weapon to "blow out" the well.

It sounds like the analysts at the Northern Fleet--assuming they actually produced the report--have been watching too many John Wayne movies. That stands to reason, we suppose, because the fleet doesn't leave port much anymore. So, why not fire up the DVD player, watch The Duke put out oil well fires with high explosives, and speculate that only a "B-83 thermonuclear bomb," emplaced by a mini-sub, could stop the massive oil leak. Apparently, the Russian Navy didn't consider the potential impact on wildlife, but broiled/blackened fish and shrimp should be plentiful after the projected blast.

Of course, no one takes this "theory" seriously, but it is good for a chuckle. On the other hand, no one batted an eye when New York mayor Michael Bloomberg actually suggested an even wilder conspiracy theory. In an interview with CBS's Katie Couric, Mayor Bloomberg suggested that Saturday's attempted car bombing in Times Square might be related to recent health care protests. From Newsbusters:

KATIE COURIC: Law enforcement officials don't know who left the Nissan Pathfinder behind, but, at this point, the mayor believes the suspect acted alone.

MAYOR MICHAEL BLOOMBERG: If I had to guess -- 25 cents -- this would be exactly that, somebody

COURIC: A home-grown?

BLOOMBERG: Home-grown, maybe a mentally deranged person or somebody with a political agenda that doesn't like the health care bill or something. It could be anything.

Apparently, The Perky One and Hizzoner haven't been talking with law enforcement. As CBS Correspondent Bob Orr (and other journalists) are reporting, the investigation is now focused on a Pakistani American man who may be connected to the incident. Investigators have also learned that the vehicle used in the bomb plot (a 1993 Nissan Pathfinder) was sold last month to young man who was "Hispanic or Middle Eastern looking."

Just your typical tea party protester.

Still, the Bloomberg comment illustrates an important point about kook theories. They're ridiculed when offered by someone who isn't well known, or doesn't offer their suggestions to a MSM outlet. But when ridiculous assertions are provided by a prominent politician--on the CBS Evening News--they gain instant credibility.

Ms. Couric should be ashamed of herself, and so should Mayor Bloomberg. But the left would like to believe the attempted bombing was the work of a right-wing nut, so attempted linkage to the recent health care protests go unchallenged.