Perry Mason for the Defense

The lawyer for ex-astronaut Lisa Nowak has berated the press for treating his client's case as "entertainment," and spreading false information (imagine that!)

Speaking to reporters in Orlando (where Nowak faces charges of assaulting and planning to kidnap a romantic rival), attorney Donald Lykkebak said the "biggest lie" told by the media was the idea that Lisa Nowak was wearing an adult diaper as she drove from Houston to Orlando.

According to this account in the Orlando Sentinel, Lykkebak said that diapers were in the car, but they were used years earlier when the family, including Nowak's children, had to evacuate Houston before a hurricane.

Well, that certainly changes everything. If Captain Nowak didn't make that 900-mile, Houston- to-Orlando trip in NASA's version of Depends, well, there's no way a jury will convict her of a trivial matter, like attacking Air Force Captain Colleen Shipman.

Excuse me, counselor, but you've got a client who's facing felony charges and some (potentially) serious jail time, but you're worried about press accounts of her "diaper drive?" Well, maybe you can explain why Nowak's kids--who range in age from 6 to 15--were wearing diapers during Houston's last hurricane evacuation in 2005. Or the fact that police documents show that two "used" kids diapers were found in the car (Ewwwwww), along with 30 unused ones, presumably in adult sizes.

Oh, that's right, the diapers had been in there for years (Double Ewwwwww). But, as I recall, Captain Nowak was driving a late-model car at the time of her arrest, a vehicle that wasn't on the road when her children were in diapers. So, if your story is correct, that must mean that she transferred diapers from one family car to another, for kids who didn't need them. Yeah, that makes perfect sense. And, according to the Sentinel, you were trying to make the point that there aren't any diapers in evidence. Well, what about that small arsenal of weapons that your client was carrying? Presumably, they are in evidence, and a much more serious threat to your planned legal defense.

Judging from his photo in the Sentinel, we'd say that Mr. Lykkebak isn't from legal aid, so we can assume that Captain Nowak is paying good money for his services. But, based on that performance outside the Orlando court house, we're not exactly impressed. Captain Nowak might want to encourage her Legal Eagle to focus on more salient issues, like cutting a deal with prosecutors. Any resemblance between Lykkebak and Perry Mason (at this point) is purely coincidental.

By the way, Mr. Lykkebak did file a couple of motions during a "status hearing" today. He asked the judge to seal Nowak's post-arrest statement, and the results of the search of her car. The judge rejected the statement motion, noting that her comments "would come out during the hearing, so what's the point?"

Captain Nowak can only hope that Mr. Lykkebak was having a bad day, and the diaper exchange is not a reflection of his abilities as a lawyer. If it is, she'd better pack a tooth brush when she shows up for court.